


Avenging with Portals

by YumeArashi



Category: Portal (Video Game), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-14
Updated: 2013-03-14
Packaged: 2017-12-05 07:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/720178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeArashi/pseuds/YumeArashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony finds something left behind by one of his dad's old buddies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avenging with Portals

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [When Iron Man meets Portal...](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/18526) by COMBAT-BANANA. 



"Hmm, been gaining a little weight, have we?  I'll reroute more power to the thrusters."  As the smooth female voice came over the suit's internal speakers, Tony could only think, _This was a terrible idea._

He should have known better, really.  He'd met Cave Johnson a few times when he was a kid, the man had been one of Howard Stark's best friends.  Tony knew first-hand the kind of absolute insanity that guy could dream up, he'd heard the story about the mantis men.

But when he'd found the old files in a dusty box in a long-untouched storage room, he'd been irresistibly fascinated by the idea that someone might have successfully created a working AI years before JARVIS (who was himself an impossibility, decades ahead of his time).  It was possible – Cave Johnson might have been a madman, but anyone who could create a working portal gun may very well have found a way to download a person's consciousness into an AI.  And wouldn't that just be the most awesome thing ever?  Screw death, Tony and JARVIS could be AI buddies forever!

Unfortunately, the notes hadn't mentioned the fact that the downloaded consciousness in question was thoroughly vengeful about her situation.  So yeah, putting her in the Mark 10?  Maybe not the best of ideas.

"Hey!" he yelled as he noticed the targeting system wandering a bit too close to his team.  "We talked about this, remember?  Bad guys only.  You keep me and the team safe, I let you do science.  That was the deal."

"Non-lethal testing," the mechanical voice was somehow deeply scornful.  "That's not science."

"You'd rather be reinstalled in what's left of Aperture?  I don’t think Atlas and P-body are going to want to go back to being your test subjects, they're way happier hanging out with Dummy and Butterfingers and You."

"Of course they are.  And how much in damages did the five of them manage to do to your laboratory this week?"

"Hey, you and JARVIS were supposed to be keeping an eye on things, not having some kind of weird virtual cybersex."  And wow, hadn't _that_ been the wrongest thing he'd ever run across.

"Excuse a girl for being lonely after a few decades of being incorporeal.  You're just jealous that he likes me best."

"Don't make me put you back into a potato.  There are lots of pigeons in New York and they're always hungry." 

There was a sullen pause, followed by, "I'm going to break through that security on your chemical storage one of these days, you know."

Yeah, worst idea ever.  Still…Tony sent an alien into an endless free fall and then flung it off the side of a skyscraper - thinking with portals was _awesome_.


End file.
